Faking it.

The clothes, the hair, the makeup, the jewelry, the attitude, all put on to face the world and create an image that makes your life in this world work for you. Simple enough. But what about when that is not enough? What about when your mind doesn’t let that happen?

Well if your one of those lucky people like me who was blessed with the gift (yes I said gift) of Bipolar Disorder then you know exactly what I`m talking about and if your not well your in for a treat! or at least an eye opener. I`m not going to give you a sob story just the truth. I take medication to make my life easier in this world because the world was so not designed for a crazy ass lady like me!
For the most part I live my life just like everyone else but sometimes my mind gets away from me I have 5 thoughts to your 1, my mood shifts several times in a day sometimes an hour. I can fly into a rage for no apparent reason to anyone around me and I can fall into utter despair just as fast.

To those around me and that don`t know I seem irrational, hysterical a complete fucking BITCH! Sometimes I can feel these shifts, these changes coming on and I can prepare for it, take myself away from the situation or people take some breathes and get through and no one is the wiser….and sometimes I can`t.

There are times when no matter how much preparation, focus, good intent I or the people around me have, I still manage to blow to fucking pieces. I don`t expect you to understand, hell I don`t completely understand but all I want you to know is that person that is a little odd or a little to well put together or seems to be absent from things more often then most might not be doing it by choice. It might be the gift that was given to them at birth that they haven`t quite figured out how to use that is holding them back or keeping them tied up, not everyone is faking it…

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     Lady B.

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