I’ve become very gifted in the skill of controlling my emotions except I find myself starving for emotional connection, over sharing in certain instances and feeling wounded when I can’t find the connections I so crave.
The concern I am having with keeping my emotions in check so much, is at one point they will need to be released and that never seems to end well for anyone!There is no slow even burn it’s more like a spark followed by a small glowing ember then bursting into an explosion blinding those near by.
If emotions where a electric neon rainbow, mine would be like someone was flicking a light switch off & on, blinding you with neon light then crushing you in utter darkness. Repeatedly. For hours on end.
Luckily for most they won’t have to see this, as I said I am very skilled in controlling my emotions and they are not actually a blinking electric neon rainbow!!!
But for the select privileged few, my emotions will get the better of me and I will expose parts of myself that I don’t normally do and because of this I have to ask for patience…always patience and sometimes some forgiveness, ok a lot of forgiveness!
I never mean to harm and always strive not to, but usually to no avail. Just remember if you are seeing this side of me that must mean your someone special to me and most of all I trust you.