I can’t explain to you how I feel inside, because I feel nothing.

I can’t tell you what I was thinking when I did it, because I wasn’t.

I can’t tell you that I am sorry for what I said or did, because I don’t remember.

I am thoughtless.

That is my sickness, it comes with my “gift”. I have the ability to flip a switch to protect myself and not care, not get hurt. But it also works against me at times.

It stops me from seeing the destruction I am causing by my thoughtless nature.

I never meant to hurt you, I just didn’t know you were even there.

Don’t take offense it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or that I love you any less.

I simply just slipped away for a bit, lost touch with reality and what really mattered.

I can’t justify my actions to you, because they are not my true intentions.

I can’t make the situation better, because the damage is already done.

But I can tell you I am aware.

The magnitude of the situation is not lost on me, because I still care.

When I stop caring that is when you will know all hope is lost.

Then I will be truly, thoughtless.


Lady B.