Well this is an all to formiliar feeling. To bad it wasn’t for you as well, maybe then it would be easier for both of us?

Yup! the look is the same no matter who is casting it a me; frustrated, confused, upset and finally one of two things: sad or mad.

Does not matter how it ends really, my response is never the right one. No by this point in the incident, I am so far gone I only make the situation worse.

And that’s what it is another incident, another reason for them to question everything, another excuse to walk away.

But that’s not fair for me to call it an “excuse” when I myself would love to have a reason to runaway. To hide from the very essence that is me.

So what do we do? What do I do? Take more meds, different meds until I feel like a fucking science experiment gone awry!

Put my body through hell and back with all the different chemicals and toxins floating in my blood. Weirdly hoping something good will come of it?

What started out as a fairy tale, is now a carnival ride gone wrong. But no one ever said this would be easy.